Friday, 23 June 2017

One Year.

I made it. I survived a solid year of being with another human and oh boy, has it been a journey and in all honesty I can say it has been my best year to date. As this has also been my third and final year of my undergraduate degree, it was combined with my stress and absolute chaos of a mind but I think we did pretty damn good despite the endless tears about this damn degree.

Having met at an arts festival job where we had the same duties but on different days, we were destined to communicate somehow whether we liked it or not. Apparently I certainly did not want to due to me vowing to myself I would not make friends at this job (for some odd reason) but hey ho, you say these things and the exact opposite happens. We got chatting and one date led to another and another and now we comfortably stay in bed all day eating oreo marshmallow things and brownies, never ever judging each other. But how did we get here?

For as long as I have been in the "seeing people" scene, I have been well and truly fucked. Nothing that would last more than a few months and never anything official because apparently this society cannot deal with actual romance. So when I had my two incidents at university, I wanted to give it a break and just not think about men or their kind for a while and it worked. Being comfortably single has been one of my most rewarding achievements and I did not hate it one bit. Sure, there were times when couples would annoy me and I would call out all the dickheads that roamed the earth in frustration of how it is not destined to be my calling but I never hated being alone, I only missed the companionship that seeing people offered. From then on I deleted the likes of Tinder and moved on, going on self dates, hanging out with friends and having fun. I will admit, it was not all great, there was the occasional smidgens of heartbreak and what ifs but I guess that is a part of life. From the amazing advice of my mother, I practiced the art of waiting for the one and thinking how he will come when I least expect it and lo and behold, there he was and there he is now existing always in my life. Just after a year of getting to grips with loving myself, I fell in love with this guy.

This guy, being Simon, is my first "official" boyfriend and it feels amazing and also scary because anything new scares the crap out of me. Being one skeptical girlfriend at the very start of our relationship was tough but I have overcome that initial feeling of is this real? Does this guy actually like me or is it all a sham? (thank you to the lads who have conditioned me to extreme paranoia). I have come to realise, even if it is this late, that he does love me and it feels so good I cannot even try and explain it. Also loving someone just as much as they love you is extremely rewarding because you actually get to shower them with affection and everything you think they deserve and seeing them this happy is what makes everything fantastic. And now after this year passes of having to travel to see each other, we won't have to because we are living together next year (maybe a post about this soon? who knows?) and I cannot wait to be with the one I love everyday because this year has been a hard one, in terms of seeing each other.

For this one year celebration, I wanted to record how much this has changed me and my life for what is hopefully the better (i'm sure it is but just want to make sure). For so long I have fallen for the wrong people, and of course they are valid and I will never deny them, but what I have now is true and I know it because it surprises me everytime. He surprised me because I did not know love like this exists and I cannot wait for more years of this and learning more and more about this phenomena. Sadly we cannot celebrate together this year because of our jobs and just timing but hopefully we will reunite soon and celebrate well. Anyway, on to another year of new adventures and milestones with the love of my life by my side.

Happy One Year Bee <3

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

Goals for my final term of University

Yes. Once again, I have neglected this blog and here I am apologising for the millionth time. Honestly, I forgot and I didn't have much to say but here I am to start the year of 2017 with a fresh new blog post.
I am halfway through my final year at university and I want to set some goals for the final term because I want to make the most of it. Personally, I really love my university and education in general and I am not ready to leave (a post about this coming soon, promise). When in a crisis like this I make a list so without further ado, here is what I want to achieve in the next term or so...

1. Stick to a schedule
Throughout my 2 and a half years at University, I have tried to have a schedule because life gets hectic there and I never seem to know what is going on. I actually want to stick to one this time and with it being "New Year, New Me" and all that jazz I reckon maybe this can happen. How do I plan to do it? Well, I have started an actual Bullet Journal as part of my New Year task and so far, it is actually my favourite thing that I have started doing. I can schedule all my things in one place and for people with such messy heads like mine, it can be useful and it also gives me an excuse to doodle fancy headers. I have my own spreads that help with different parts of my life ranging from personal stuff to university tasks and I can change it up when I want and see what works for me. As well as sticking to schedules, it helps me relax and take time to plan my tasks well before getting in to them.

There is no way I could survive without a good ol' fancy header.
2. Do my reading
I admit it, I do not always do my reading and it can be a huge hinderance to my learning but I will try my best to do them on time before seminars. This term is much easier as I only have one class with the addition of extra curricular stuff and my dissertation so I can schedule reading easily before hand as well as all those resources for my dissertation.

3. Join a new society
This one is a hard one as joining new societies can be daunting for me. I am Vice President of the Glee Society at my University and that can take up quite a bit of time but also I have a commitment issue when it comes to these things. I tried to join a more active society to keep me moving but I only went to one taster session of Swing Dancing and then I never went again and most of the memberships are expensive. Hopefully I will try something new and unexpected when it comes to Refreshers Fair! (Maybe I can also go to more socials, who knows?)

4. Film more
Yes, I do a film degree and I hardly film anything so I will try to make a conscious effort to film things (I don't know what yet, we'll wait and see). I know me making a film will be accomplished this year as it is part of my final year modules so that will be fine but I need to do so in my free time as well! I saw someone post a video that they curated through the year by filming at least 1 second a day and I have decided to take on that challenge, so let us see where that takes me.

5. Cook better
Finally, I need to start cooking better and plan meals before hand. I forget how much of a hassle cooking becomes when you live away from home but lord knows how many pizza boxes I have collected in the past year due to my favourite pizza place opening in my home away from home (It's Papa Johns, I love you Papa Johns <3) I will actively try not to apart from special occasions. Also, I need to make breakfast because me waking up late is not an excuse to skip a meal and not eat until 8pm, when the day is done. Get some cereal in you before you leave for the day!

Maybe I can make this at home rather than go to a fancy café?
So these are my goals and hopefully having them immortalised on this neglected blog will help me complete them, maybe? But, for now, the planning of these goals will have to do and I will update with changes and successes over the next term (or at least I will try). Thank you for reading! I will see you next time when I finally write about my actual course.

Over and Out,

Saturday, 23 April 2016

Shakespeare and Me: The Anniversary of a Genius

Today is the 400th Anniversary of Shakespeares death and I am here to celebrate this wonderful person's works and his influences in my life. Just as I am sitting down with a cuppa and watching Shakespeare Live! From the RSC, I thought I would write a few words on some of my memories of this famous writer (I don't know him personally but you know).
On September 22nd of last year, I was honoured and very, VERY lucky (it was a struggle, honestly) to see Hamlet in the Barbican, London with none other than my absolute idol, Benedict Cumberbatch leading this marvellous performance. This is still the best day I have ever had and although I had a love of Hamlet from watching the DVD I have at home of David Tennant (another fav) performing it for the RSC, this gave me life like I didn't know plays like this could. So many wonderful people have played this iconic role but seeing it live and in front of me was an adventure and an absolute honour. To this day it affects me and I guess every other Shakespeare play has done this to an extent but this was special. I'm not going to elaborate my admiration for Cumberbatch but I got very emotional that day and I will always remember it. The words, the stage and the emotion was so real and with Shakespeare it will always be like this at some point. I mean, who didn't sob at Leonardo DiCaprio's and Claire Dane's portrayal of Romeo and Juliet in a fabulous Baz Luhrmann film, Romeo+Juliet? If you answered "No" then you are lying to me and yourself, but that's fine. I'll forgive you.
What a beautiful prince.

Also, I recently tweeted a poignant quote that I came across and it was said by the character Beatrice in Much Ado about Nothing that personally resonated with my circumstances. The quote goes "I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me." and honestly, at this moment in time, this is a true fact. With feelings and thoughts, I tend to find quotes very useful in both justifying how I feel and helping me express it which is why songs are helpful and lyrics can be quoted annoyingly to my friends. However, when I found this quote taking a quiz about which character I am from the works of Shakespeare, I immediately fell in love and I felt empowered with just this one line. Many writers can write good words but for someone who wrote more than 400 years ago to be so relevant in todays day and age is something truly remarkable. If this doesn't open you up to how influential Shakespeare is to me, I will now tell you my cats name is Benvolio, after Romeo's cousin in Romeo and Juliet. I know, my cat hates me for it but the plays have fabulous pet name inspirations. That is a fact.
After this ramble I will leave you with another quote that applies to those who write or even read but mostly for those in some sort of love:

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,   
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

A sort of way of immortalising myself in this blog and trying to be my own Shakespeare by ending with the wonderful Sonnet 18. Thank you for reading and see you in my next post about Doctor Strange and the fandom feels.
Over and Out,

Monday, 28 March 2016

A Spontaneous post on "Blue Valentine" and the feelings involved

A few days ago I watched Blue Valentine and I ended up thinking too much about my own personal life and the one I wish I had and it got me thinking about how films can affect us in such an emotional way. Personally, I get really affected by certain films and I want to know if this happens to other people as well.
One example of this the romantic comedy Love, Rosie which affected me in a way I never wanted any movie to do. I somewhat despise romantic comedies as a film student but this one had me thinking that this can definitely be my guilty pleasure. Maybe it's because we relate so much with what is on the screen and adapt it to your personal life. Not saying that (maybe spoilers maybe, highlight with cursor if you have watched this film) I have been in love with my best friend since forever and before getting into University I fell pregnant with some random bloke but I could relate to aspects of this film such as Rosie's friendship with Alex, how there are many decisions to do with life to be made and so on.
With Blue Valentine, I guess I thought the same way but also more emotionally than I did with Love, Rosie. I know that Blue Valentine is what I assume reality would look like in film and it is also critically acclaimed. Some scenes are said to be improvised but I compared it to what it is like being young and in love (not that I know anything about that pshh). Maybe that's what it is, we look at these films and it reminds us what our life should be like and also, especially with Blue Valentine, what it should be like in the future and that is terrifying.
As this film has a non-linear look at a relationship it highlights the couples present feelings and also compares it to how it was before. Without spoiling it, this film makes you think so much and I love it and maybe even hate it at the same time especially because it made me cry whilst in a class full of film students who seemed unaffected by the story in it. Although these two films I have mentioned fall in two different categories of how "good" a film is, they both affected me in some way. So the question here is: Do films affect you emotionally? Which ones and why? Do let me know so I don't feel bad about all the tears.
I hope you enjoyed this spontaneous post (even though I said next post will be on a Friday. Don't trust me, I'm WILD!) and I hope you have a lovely week.

Over and Out,

Sunday, 27 March 2016

On turning 20

On the 25th March, I, Anne-Marie Dames, turned 20. I have been alive for 20 years and it scares the crap out of me daily. I am now fully responsible for what I am doing and it is a reminder that I am one year away from graduating and oh my god what am I going to do?
Despite my daily existential crisis, I had fun on my birthday. I usually get super duper excited to celebrate my own birthday because I want people to have fun and enjoy themselves in my company. This year I had a lot more company than I expected and it was lovely. I can't express how grateful I was for all the people who came and just hung out with me on this day. However, with every birthday comes the awkward singing and cake bit which happened in my house fortunately and it's the only part of the day I do not enjoy as much.
There is something about birthdays that makes me extremely happy and content with life despite maybe not being all that ok with it. It is a day that celebrates my life and I am happy with it, even with its little bumps and bad times. I am getting older and I am starting to feel it and I have a whole world of experiences to touch. It's terrifying but so nice to know that I still have a life ahead of me and things will be changing over the next couple of months and years and so on. Things will get better and it's ok that I will change. Everyone does.
As the years go on I have realised that my love for birthdays never changes and that my philosophical and nostalgic thoughts become more prominent. I do try. Anyway, before I ramble forever about how emotional I am about 1-uping my age, here is 20-year old me with no make-up and a bed head. Also embedded below is a playlist of music that has made me who I am today. All the music in it has been stuck in my head at some point or I listened to it for really long periods of time because that's what teenagers do (let's all pretend I sounded like Moriarty).

I will be updating this playlist as soon as I remind myself what songs I am nostalgic over. As far as regular posts go, I will be releasing a post every Friday from now on alternating between feelings, films and random topics.

Thank you for reading my thoughts but for now over and out, 

Thursday, 31 December 2015

The End of 2015

It is the end of an era. The end of a 365 day stretch of memories and things worth remembering for a lifetime. In 2015, there sure is a lot to admire and cherish and also some to forget and forgive. This year for me was definitely a learning curve in which I learnt a lot about myself and the people I hold closest to my heart. I found true friends and lost what used to matter to me in 2014. That is completely fine and part of life and was definitely a good thing.
However, there were many firsts for me throughout the year. My first convention, first visits to some cities and first serious like. It was a great year (well..) but I know that next year will prove to be harder and better because becoming one year older always brings a challenge. I am grateful for everything that happened this year and to commemorate this whirlwind of a year I have made a little video with clips from the January to December.

Here it is:

On to 2016, I have many plans for this year and I find it appropriate to discuss these just after the video because why not? Firstly, I want to make more videos because looking back at these videos was pretty fun and made me extremely happy. Secondly, I shall focus on my career and what I want to do. But most of all I don't want to force a change, I want to naturally be happy with what I am doing and everything that I am (woah deep). This is my ultimate goal. I have exciting plans and I want to achieve so much more than I have this year but I will never forget what 2015 has given to me. 
But for now; Farewell to the old and roll on to the new!

Over and out, 

Friday, 25 December 2015

An Extraordinary Merry Christmas

Tis the season of Christmas and the time to think about what the new year is going to bring. But first, let us enjoy this special day with the people we love. I hope all of you get the chance to do so. This Christmas, I will be spending it away from home with my extended family. However, towards the end of term I had the best time with friends at our - now annual - Christmas gathering. It's a time where I and many other can forget about our serious lifes, unwind and truly be happy.

Lets ignore my face in the middle, I am covered in chocolate. Don't ask. My friends are beautifuler. Thats a word. Shh.
Christmas, being one of my favourite holidays, wouldn't feel right if I left this blog empty throughout the season so without further a do:

To all my readers,

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I wish you all the best over the holidays and the coming year of 2016.

The Girl From Another Planet aka Anne-Marie