Friday, 23 June 2017

One Year.

I made it. I survived a solid year of being with another human and oh boy, has it been a journey and in all honesty I can say it has been my best year to date. As this has also been my third and final year of my undergraduate degree, it was combined with my stress and absolute chaos of a mind but I think we did pretty damn good despite the endless tears about this damn degree.

Having met at an arts festival job where we had the same duties but on different days, we were destined to communicate somehow whether we liked it or not. Apparently I certainly did not want to due to me vowing to myself I would not make friends at this job (for some odd reason) but hey ho, you say these things and the exact opposite happens. We got chatting and one date led to another and another and now we comfortably stay in bed all day eating oreo marshmallow things and brownies, never ever judging each other. But how did we get here?

For as long as I have been in the "seeing people" scene, I have been well and truly fucked. Nothing that would last more than a few months and never anything official because apparently this society cannot deal with actual romance. So when I had my two incidents at university, I wanted to give it a break and just not think about men or their kind for a while and it worked. Being comfortably single has been one of my most rewarding achievements and I did not hate it one bit. Sure, there were times when couples would annoy me and I would call out all the dickheads that roamed the earth in frustration of how it is not destined to be my calling but I never hated being alone, I only missed the companionship that seeing people offered. From then on I deleted the likes of Tinder and moved on, going on self dates, hanging out with friends and having fun. I will admit, it was not all great, there was the occasional smidgens of heartbreak and what ifs but I guess that is a part of life. From the amazing advice of my mother, I practiced the art of waiting for the one and thinking how he will come when I least expect it and lo and behold, there he was and there he is now existing always in my life. Just after a year of getting to grips with loving myself, I fell in love with this guy.

This guy, being Simon, is my first "official" boyfriend and it feels amazing and also scary because anything new scares the crap out of me. Being one skeptical girlfriend at the very start of our relationship was tough but I have overcome that initial feeling of is this real? Does this guy actually like me or is it all a sham? (thank you to the lads who have conditioned me to extreme paranoia). I have come to realise, even if it is this late, that he does love me and it feels so good I cannot even try and explain it. Also loving someone just as much as they love you is extremely rewarding because you actually get to shower them with affection and everything you think they deserve and seeing them this happy is what makes everything fantastic. And now after this year passes of having to travel to see each other, we won't have to because we are living together next year (maybe a post about this soon? who knows?) and I cannot wait to be with the one I love everyday because this year has been a hard one, in terms of seeing each other.

For this one year celebration, I wanted to record how much this has changed me and my life for what is hopefully the better (i'm sure it is but just want to make sure). For so long I have fallen for the wrong people, and of course they are valid and I will never deny them, but what I have now is true and I know it because it surprises me everytime. He surprised me because I did not know love like this exists and I cannot wait for more years of this and learning more and more about this phenomena. Sadly we cannot celebrate together this year because of our jobs and just timing but hopefully we will reunite soon and celebrate well. Anyway, on to another year of new adventures and milestones with the love of my life by my side.

Happy One Year Bee <3

Tuesday, 3 January 2017

Goals for my final term of University

Yes. Once again, I have neglected this blog and here I am apologising for the millionth time. Honestly, I forgot and I didn't have much to say but here I am to start the year of 2017 with a fresh new blog post.
I am halfway through my final year at university and I want to set some goals for the final term because I want to make the most of it. Personally, I really love my university and education in general and I am not ready to leave (a post about this coming soon, promise). When in a crisis like this I make a list so without further ado, here is what I want to achieve in the next term or so...

1. Stick to a schedule
Throughout my 2 and a half years at University, I have tried to have a schedule because life gets hectic there and I never seem to know what is going on. I actually want to stick to one this time and with it being "New Year, New Me" and all that jazz I reckon maybe this can happen. How do I plan to do it? Well, I have started an actual Bullet Journal as part of my New Year task and so far, it is actually my favourite thing that I have started doing. I can schedule all my things in one place and for people with such messy heads like mine, it can be useful and it also gives me an excuse to doodle fancy headers. I have my own spreads that help with different parts of my life ranging from personal stuff to university tasks and I can change it up when I want and see what works for me. As well as sticking to schedules, it helps me relax and take time to plan my tasks well before getting in to them.

There is no way I could survive without a good ol' fancy header.
2. Do my reading
I admit it, I do not always do my reading and it can be a huge hinderance to my learning but I will try my best to do them on time before seminars. This term is much easier as I only have one class with the addition of extra curricular stuff and my dissertation so I can schedule reading easily before hand as well as all those resources for my dissertation.

3. Join a new society
This one is a hard one as joining new societies can be daunting for me. I am Vice President of the Glee Society at my University and that can take up quite a bit of time but also I have a commitment issue when it comes to these things. I tried to join a more active society to keep me moving but I only went to one taster session of Swing Dancing and then I never went again and most of the memberships are expensive. Hopefully I will try something new and unexpected when it comes to Refreshers Fair! (Maybe I can also go to more socials, who knows?)

4. Film more
Yes, I do a film degree and I hardly film anything so I will try to make a conscious effort to film things (I don't know what yet, we'll wait and see). I know me making a film will be accomplished this year as it is part of my final year modules so that will be fine but I need to do so in my free time as well! I saw someone post a video that they curated through the year by filming at least 1 second a day and I have decided to take on that challenge, so let us see where that takes me.

5. Cook better
Finally, I need to start cooking better and plan meals before hand. I forget how much of a hassle cooking becomes when you live away from home but lord knows how many pizza boxes I have collected in the past year due to my favourite pizza place opening in my home away from home (It's Papa Johns, I love you Papa Johns <3) I will actively try not to apart from special occasions. Also, I need to make breakfast because me waking up late is not an excuse to skip a meal and not eat until 8pm, when the day is done. Get some cereal in you before you leave for the day!

Maybe I can make this at home rather than go to a fancy café?
So these are my goals and hopefully having them immortalised on this neglected blog will help me complete them, maybe? But, for now, the planning of these goals will have to do and I will update with changes and successes over the next term (or at least I will try). Thank you for reading! I will see you next time when I finally write about my actual course.

Over and Out,