Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Woah, who knew. I made it the future, didn't expect that as I am casually having existential crisis after existential crisis at this very moment in time. Also I'm 19. Just thought that would interest you, you can laugh at me now. I think I sound fancy now, what about you? Do you like blogging in a fancy way. If you don't blog then maybe do you just try to write fancy? I write the word fancy a lot.

Anyway, hope all is good now. Maybe you successfully finished University, had your year abroad and had struggles on the way but you made it to the future. I want you to read this when you are 30 and hopefully you are happy now. Right now, I am struggling two weeks before the first and last exams of my university life start whilst listening to All I Want by Kodaline. Last night was the first time you slept happy in quite a while. 2 and a half months, to be precise. Getting over people isn't easy for me and you, I hope it's getting better over time and you have become strong. But I really don't want many more of these shit feelings, please?

I hope you are friends with the people you are friends with 10 years in the past. The usual bestie's, soul mates (aka wife) and the life long university people you have met. I won't name names but you know who they are. I don't want you to forget these people, they made you who you are now and have been there through your struggles and you should be there for theirs. Go thank them now! Well if it's 1am or something don't but you know, do it in the morning. Hang out with them or just remember them with fond memories of school, sixth form and all the times you hung out. Be a bit nostalgic today, you are literally the age your sister is now in my current moment in time. It's weird. Eww.

Who actually got married first? Any children in the friendship group? Remember when people thought you were going to get married first out of the group? Is that true or are you still waiting for Prince Charming or Benedict Cumberbatch's baby (hopefully male)? What did you even name your children? I hope it's still the original choices like Hamish, Noah, Alison and Elisa. Yesterday you told your housemates that you want to be sorted by 30. Job, man, house and children on your mind. Who knows? Maybe you fucked up but that is alright, you are still pretty awesome for surviving. Get your life on track if none of your goals have been realised. Say hi to your husband or boyfriend from past me, literally can't imagine being with someone. And if you don't have anyone to say hi to, don't rush to find love, if true love hasn't come yet then its not the right time. Be patient. You always have, remember waiting 2 years for the guy you liked to give you an answer? (Still hasn't, has he?) And also 2 good long years for Sherlock? Good, now practice that some more. Also has Season 5 come out? I am still waiting for 4. Darn.

How is Mum? Have you spoken to her or have you yet to move out of the house? Magda? Has she settled down and had children, if she hasn't slap her and say sorry. Honestly, I'm waiting now for her to get married already, she is stable in the career section of life and also relationship wise she is perfect so she needs to hurry the hell up. Spend some time with them if you haven't. Also speak to Padre, see whats happening.

Finally, I really hope you are doing film as a job. Seriously, if nothing else has worked out I hope this has. You've worked for this and struggled on the inside as to whether this was a good choice so I hope to high heavens you are happy with what you are doing and that is film. Maybe you've made something and maybe you've won an award, big or small, I am still proud because I think I can say I am struggling with my life decisions right now, so I hope you prove me wrong. Please prove me wrong, otherwise all this was a waste. But I'm sure you are awesome enough to be smart about this. Do what you love and do it well. Also I hope you've met Benedict or seen him. Please you must have, it's been 16 years of loving him. Say hi from past me, don't cry and be calm.

Super final note, stay weird! You are unique soul and I hope you know that. #Yolo. I joke, but really have fun with your future life and love yourself as much as I love the idea of you.

Here is your past face, 19 and no make-up (as always). Write a blog post even if your blog isn't active  and compare our faces, thanks. I hope I have minimal acne scaring and sorted eyebrows (shh positivity).

Over and out from your awkwardly past self,

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