A Spontaneous post on "Blue Valentine" and the feelings involved

A few days ago I watched Blue Valentine and I ended up thinking too much about my own personal life and the one I wish I had and it got me thinking about how films can affect us in such an emotional way. Personally, I get really affected by certain films and I want to know if this happens to other people as well.

One example of this the romantic comedy Love, Rosie which affected me in a way I never wanted any movie to do. I somewhat despise romantic comedies as a film student but this one had me thinking that this can definitely be my guilty pleasure. Maybe it's because we relate so much with what is on the screen and adapt it to your personal life. Not saying that (maybe spoilers maybe, highlight with cursor if you have watched this film) I have been in love with my best friend since forever and before getting into University I fell pregnant with some random bloke but I could relate to aspects of this film such as Rosie's friendship with Alex, how there are many decisions to do with life to be made and so on.
With Blue Valentine, I guess I thought the same way but also more emotionally than I did with Love, Rosie. I know that Blue Valentine is what I assume reality would look like in film and it is also critically acclaimed. Some scenes are said to be improvised but I compared it to what it is like being young and in love (not that I know anything about that pshh). Maybe that's what it is, we look at these films and it reminds us what our life should be like and also, especially with Blue Valentine, what it should be like in the future and that is terrifying.
As this film has a non-linear look at a relationship it highlights the couples present feelings and also compares it to how it was before. Without spoiling it, this film makes you think so much and I love it and maybe even hate it at the same time especially because it made me cry whilst in a class full of film students who seemed unaffected by the story in it. Although these two films I have mentioned fall in two different categories of how "good" a film is, they both affected me in some way. So the question here is: Do films affect you emotionally? Which ones and why? Do let me know so I don't feel bad about all the tears.
I hope you enjoyed this spontaneous post (even though I said next post will be on a Friday. Don't trust me, I'm WILD!) and I hope you have a lovely week.

Over and Out,

The End of 2015

It is the end of an era. The end of a 365 day stretch of memories and things worth remembering for a lifetime. In 2015, there sure is a lot to admire and cherish and also some to forget and forgive. This year for me was definitely a learning curve in which I learnt a lot about myself and the people I hold closest to my heart. I found true friends and lost what used to matter to me in 2014. That is completely fine and part of life and was definitely a good thing.
However, there were many firsts for me throughout the year. My first convention, first visits to some cities and first serious like. It was a great year (well..) but I know that next year will prove to be harder and better because becoming one year older always brings a challenge. I am grateful for everything that happened this year and to commemorate this whirlwind of a year I have made a little video with clips from the January to December.

Here it is:

On to 2016, I have many plans for this year and I find it appropriate to discuss these just after the video because why not? Firstly, I want to make more videos because looking back at these videos was pretty fun and made me extremely happy. Secondly, I shall focus on my career and what I want to do. But most of all I don't want to force a change, I want to naturally be happy with what I am doing and everything that I am (woah deep). This is my ultimate goal. I have exciting plans and I want to achieve so much more than I have this year but I will never forget what 2015 has given to me. 

But for now; Farewell to the old and roll on to the new!

Over and out, 

Woah, who knew. I made it the future, didn't expect that as I am casually having existential crisis after existential crisis at this very moment in time. Also I'm 19. Just thought that would interest you, you can laugh at me now. I think I sound fancy now, what about you? Do you like blogging in a fancy way. If you don't blog then maybe do you just try to write fancy? I write the word fancy a lot.

Anyway, hope all is good now. Maybe you successfully finished University, had your year abroad and had struggles on the way but you made it to the future. I want you to read this when you are 30 and hopefully you are happy now. Right now, I am struggling two weeks before the first and last exams of my university life start whilst listening to All I Want by Kodaline. Last night was the first time you slept happy in quite a while. 2 and a half months, to be precise. Getting over people isn't easy for me and you, I hope it's getting better over time and you have become strong. But I really don't want many more of these shit feelings, please?

I hope you are friends with the people you are friends with 10 years in the past. The usual bestie's, soul mates (aka wife) and the life long university people you have met. I won't name names but you know who they are. I don't want you to forget these people, they made you who you are now and have been there through your struggles and you should be there for theirs. Go thank them now! Well if it's 1am or something don't but you know, do it in the morning. Hang out with them or just remember them with fond memories of school, sixth form and all the times you hung out. Be a bit nostalgic today, you are literally the age your sister is now in my current moment in time. It's weird. Eww.

Who actually got married first? Any children in the friendship group? Remember when people thought you were going to get married first out of the group? Is that true or are you still waiting for Prince Charming or Benedict Cumberbatch's baby (hopefully male)? What did you even name your children? I hope it's still the original choices like Hamish, Noah, Alison and Elisa. Yesterday you told your housemates that you want to be sorted by 30. Job, man, house and children on your mind. Who knows? Maybe you fucked up but that is alright, you are still pretty awesome for surviving. Get your life on track if none of your goals have been realised. Say hi to your husband or boyfriend from past me, literally can't imagine being with someone. And if you don't have anyone to say hi to, don't rush to find love, if true love hasn't come yet then its not the right time. Be patient. You always have, remember waiting 2 years for the guy you liked to give you an answer? (Still hasn't, has he?) And also 2 good long years for Sherlock? Good, now practice that some more. Also has Season 5 come out? I am still waiting for 4. Darn.

How is Mum? Have you spoken to her or have you yet to move out of the house? Magda? Has she settled down and had children, if she hasn't slap her and say sorry. Honestly, I'm waiting now for her to get married already, she is stable in the career section of life and also relationship wise she is perfect so she needs to hurry the hell up. Spend some time with them if you haven't. Also speak to Padre, see whats happening.

Finally, I really hope you are doing film as a job. Seriously, if nothing else has worked out I hope this has. You've worked for this and struggled on the inside as to whether this was a good choice so I hope to high heavens you are happy with what you are doing and that is film. Maybe you've made something and maybe you've won an award, big or small, I am still proud because I think I can say I am struggling with my life decisions right now, so I hope you prove me wrong. Please prove me wrong, otherwise all this was a waste. But I'm sure you are awesome enough to be smart about this. Do what you love and do it well. Also I hope you've met Benedict or seen him. Please you must have, it's been 16 years of loving him. Say hi from past me, don't cry and be calm.

Super final note, stay weird! You are unique soul and I hope you know that. #Yolo. I joke, but really have fun with your future life and love yourself as much as I love the idea of you.

Here is your past face, 19 and no make-up (as always). Write a blog post even if your blog isn't active  and compare our faces, thanks. I hope I have minimal acne scaring and sorted eyebrows (shh positivity).

Over and out from your awkwardly past self,

Christmas feelings

It has dawned on me that Christmas is nearly upon us. The many youtubers sharing their festive favourites, christmas tags and vlogmas' has got me thinking about how the Christmas spirit is dieing. People are trying so hard to remember what it was like to wake up on Christmas out of pure excitement and find presents under the tree and the smell of Turkey in the morning before the Christmas dinner. Unfortunately that dies after a while and you get on with your life. I'm 17 and to be honest, it is slowly fading. I haven't had normal packed presents under the tree in two years because I've had many things given to me before Christmas or things I've told my mum that it counts as a Christmas gift.
Last year I spent Christmas in Poland and it was pretty special with the snow and festivities (mulled wine hehe). Then spending New Years in Zakopane (google it), one of the most special New Years experiences where I climbed up to the top of Gubalowka (again, google) to see the fireworks from above from the whole city. But even after that, I felt somewhat sad that the year has ended and it didn't even feel great. Remembering how fun it was to stay up late all the time just to watch the 1st January come at 12:00am but now its normal because I stay up that late on a daily basis and it doesn't bother me that a new day is dawning.
We try and bring all that back with scented candles, hot chocolate, christmas jumpers and Michael Buble on repeat (me right now) but as much as we try, we are getting older.

However what should stop you from enjoying making it as festive as possible. Put the kettle on, make a hot chocolate, blast that WHAM! tune and stay cosy for the season and eat as much of that turkey and cranberry as possible. We only get this once a year and why shouldn't we anyway. Mistletoe is an excuse for a cheeky kiss from your crush and an opportunity to play Secret Santa and make someone really happy by giving. This season is full of year long benefits and fun. ENJOYYYY!!!

Possible Videos: The Christmas Tag, Post Doctor Who video and Sherlock countdown and anything that pops in my head.

Love, Anne-Marie x

Dystopian Literature

I know I am ohhhh so late in posting a new blog post so here goes.

I have just recently finished my AS exams which were my Media Studies retake (I was disappointed with a one away from a B grade, but turns out I secured a safe B so that was a mistake), English Literature and my final Drama performance. Now I am as free as a bird - or something.

Being at home, however, for 2 weeks is ever so boring as I have nothing to study or do before the start of my A2 modules. As an avid reader I have decided on getting ahead of my English Literature for next year - Dystopian Literature. The prose texts we will be studying are:

The Handmaids Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter

I'm still not sure about the coursework side of things but there is a section that I am particularly looking forward too in which we get to write about our own dystopian literature. So I decided to look at a few before we actually start the course (excited much?). I downloaded a few free copies of some H.G Wells off IBooks -The Time Machine and War of the Worlds- and a sample of Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. I'll let you know how it goes.

Another thing I'm looking forward too is to seeing The Great Gatsby after writing my exam on it a week ago and also growing my eternal love for both Baz Luhrmann and Leonardo Dicaprio. So a review of both the movie and the book which I adore will be going up soon.

I'll guess I will see you soon with maybe a vlog?

We shall see.